4/30 - "Get Me Out of Here" Edition

1. At some point my body will stop metabolizing stupidity.
2. The period of time that a person can wear a bandana and a soul patch before they become irreversibly douche-y? It's called a Ohnosecond.
3. Time travel is possible through wormholes, but they are too small to fit through.
4. Blimps are going to make a comeback in a big way.
5. I am not anti gravity, but I am pro graviton.
6.  The artificial sweetener of the future will be delicious and have 1g of fiber, naturally derived sweetness, and contain mild hallucinogens in every packet.