Friday, September 14, 2012

The Lone Ranger's Creed

The Lone Ranger's Creed

"I believe that to have a friend,
a man must be one. 

That all men are created equal
and that everyone has within himself
the power to make this a better world. 

That God put the firewood there
but that every man
must gather and light it himself.

In being prepared
physically, mentally, and morally
to fight when necessary
for that which is right. 

That a man should make the most
of what equipment he has.

That 'This government,
of the people, by the people
and for the people'
shall live always.

That men should live by
the rule of what is best
for the greatest number. 

That sooner or later...
we must settle with the world
and make payment for what we have taken.

That all things change but truth,
and that truth alone, lives on forever.

In my Creator, my country, my fellow man."

Thursday, August 9, 2012

My next band...

My next band will be a hardcore emo shoegazer project in which every song will evoke the emotional equivalent of a lemon-juice-eye-scrape. We will be named The Duckling Slaughterhouse 5. Our first LP will be entitled Unexpurgated. You will not be cool enough to attend our first show but you may be cool enough to lie and say you were there... and we sucked.

Track 1: Runny Nose and Bad Intent
Track 2: Auto-Neurotic Asphyxiation
Track 3: Unironic Love Song in D Minor
Track 4: Laughtrack for My Loneliness
Track 5: Brunchfuck
Track 6: Arterial Insufficiency
Track 7: Swallow (Or the Terrorists Win)
Track 8: Whiskeyboarding
Track 9: The Unbearable Lightness of Joy
Track 10: It's Only Hard Until it Isn't
Track 11: I Sparkle, I Bite
Track 12: Spankthrift

Bonus Track: Twerkfare
And a 6 minute darkwave cover of:

Monday, April 23, 2012

A Return to Belief, 6 Things.

It has been a while. I hope this will be more regular than it has been. Remember to hit the embedded links for more fun.

  1. Bat bites give people super powers.
  2. Everything that is wider than it is tall is meant to be enjoyed while laying on your side.
  3. Punchification isn't just fun, it is a way of life... for your face.
  4. Anything worth doing is worth doing mono-chromatically.
  5. I personally know people that are unlikely to pass the Turing Test.
  6. The world's economic troubles and swirling bouts of depression could be solved with Live Animal Butlers.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Dream lyric: About you

I got a hole in my liver in the shape of you.