Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Best Movie Review EVER!

Ong Bak 2:

When a movie is just a series of excuses to beat the shit out of everyone for 90 minutes, that’s called action porn. Jason Statham makes one of these every three months. I think the plot to his last movie was that he got his dick caught in a pile of meat and the only way to get it out was drag racing against the President of Tits.

In 2003, Tony Jaa made Ong Bak and changed the face of action porn forever. It was the kind of movie where a guy would go looking for his village’s missing statue head and accidentally walk through an underground martial arts tournament and then accidentally win it. In one scene, he dumped his leg in oil, lit it on fire, did a 360 off a truck and kicked a guy with it. For you ladies that don’t know anything about finishing moves, that’s like killing a guy so hard that four of his Facebook posts disappear.

Care of Seanbaby: http://www.cracked.com/blog/ong-bak-2-action-porn-evolved/

Friday, January 1, 2010

Time for a DNA Geneology Test

Jubilee asked us to get her an icicle, not a popsicle, for her to eat. We pulled one and put it in a bowl in pieces. She came to me with one of the thicker pieces and said, "I can't bite this. I don't have super duper teeth."
I said, "You're right. Maybe a polar bear could do it."
She told me "I'm a little bit polar bear" and showed me with a hand gesture the tiniest bit she could muster.

She does so love the cold, maybe she is a little bit polar bear. Sally will be devastated to know Jubilee's not a desert creature.