- There's only so many times you can say you're brushing crumbs off your lap before they call HR.
- Maybe the Last Man on Earth, the one fighting so hard against the zombies, is the last man they're waiting for in Heaven.
- A vivid memory is the best way to time travel, until we figure out how to reverse engineer the TARDIS.
- Feeling down? I have a pretty glorious imagination so look in the mirror with my brain.
- In this ever-changing, ever-evolving time in which we live with instant messages, emails, and videos-on-demand you can consider my interest in whatever you are babbling about as virtual.
- A "monster" is just a nuclear spawned friend that you don't understand why they are stepping on all the buildings and the people and the cars and igniting the city with its heat vision.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
- Bad Conversation Starter: When standing next to a guy at a urinal, peek over the divider and say "Hey, we match!"
- Get busy procastinatin'!
- You call it a puppet show, I call it a felty fisting.
- To address George Berkeley, there is no sound when you're not here.
- It is 2011, where is my freaking shoe phone?
- The opposite of voyeurism is not exhibitionism, but what is it?
Monday, August 29, 2011
- Unless you're Forrest Gump, you are either running toward something or away from something.
- If you cut yourself off from the bad stuff, you keep yourself away from the good stuff too. You better just learn to cope.
- Does whining about it work? Really?
- If we ever expect anything to be perfect, we need to redefine perfect.
- There are great benefits for testing your mettle, but repeated testing only serves to check if you're there.
- The true measure of a person is the depth of their ability to eat cheese. (Je suis un Margrave du Fromage.)
Sunday, August 28, 2011
- Even if you don't do what's wrong you may not be right.
- A plan is only as good as the trustworthiness of the players.
- There's no such thing as not enough mosquitoes.
- Don't pollute your past with fear, it breeds regret and shame in the present.
- The human heart is a tesseract.
- The land of Milk & Honey is a way better place to vacation if you aren't lactose intolerant and have diabetes.