tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83367629229214450212024-03-13T05:25:43.805-05:006 Impossible Things I Believed Before BreakfastInspired by Alice, the ramblings and musing of a sugar addled mind.Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.comBlogger140125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-36321604265696363372017-01-16T15:40:00.001-06:002017-01-16T15:40:10.742-06:00Donald Trump May Have Eaten a BabyIt is rumored that President Elect Donald J. Trump ate the flesh of a child during a meeting with Chairman Kim Jong-Un.<br />
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https://newrepublic.com/article/138655/donald-trump-evil-banality<br />
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<br />Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-73303687298568453102016-05-03T10:10:00.000-05:002016-05-03T10:10:09.090-05:00Trip Status<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69mg5" data-offset-key="7ocke-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
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<li>Lost a pair of <a href="https://youtu.be/FvyI4xeA5fg">underwear </a>for four days</li>
<li>Kicked the bed, <a href="http://www.naturalhistorymag.com/picks-from-the-past/151691/man-500000-years-from-now?page=5">lost a toenail</a></li>
<li>Caught up with <a href="http://time.com/4315044/matthew-perry-matt-leblanc-friends-reunion/">friends</a></li>
<li>Caught up with <a href="https://youtu.be/jBsPZV14I-k">enemies</a></li>
<li>Still can't find the <a href="https://youtu.be/hib4n9RmFrQ">smell </a>that occurs in <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3298376/Grady-daughters-horror-classic-Shining-reveal-like-working-movie.html">hotel hall</a> and, strangely enough, the slowest <a href="http://under30ceo.com/7-devastating-elevator-pitch-mistakes/">elevator </a>on campus.</li>
<li>Discovered that the love of <a href="https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B4MLhha6fI87OUs5Zm52M2VOVTQ">libraries </a>can counteract the <a href="https://youtu.be/1VQ_3sBZEm0">fear of flying</a>.</li>
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Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-64617578027699476122016-04-14T10:53:00.000-05:002016-04-14T10:53:44.028-05:00The Magic of WordsImagine a minute that we live in a orld where magic exists. Not the wand waving, cursed apple, sparkly vampire kind of magic world, but a world where the careful application of words can affect people's perception of this world. You don't need to imagine it, because this is where we live. Today. And just like in the magical realms we read about, the naming of things have power - real power. Instead of calling someone "poor" you call them "lazy". Instead of "disabled" you call them "spaz". Instead of "hope you call it "unrealistic". Perceptions can change when the words are heard enough. Perceptions definitely change when you say the words enough. Choose your words wisely, whether you say them or hear them. We can all be magicians in this world. Are you a good one or an evil one? Choose wisely.<br />
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<br />Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-21975108897078179922016-04-05T13:01:00.001-05:002016-04-05T13:01:28.586-05:00Soapbox<span style="font-size: large;">It's time to <a href="https://youtu.be/viCZGUb9rhU">shoot for the moon</a>. I sincerely doubt <a href="https://berniesanders.com/?nosplash=true/">Bernie</a>'s proposals will be <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laffer_curve">ruinous</a>. Frankly, we'd be lucky <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/gop-obstructionism/">to get a couple through</a> congress. Realistically, congress would never go for them all and as proposed. But to simply be content with <a href="http://www.change-management.com/tutorial-7-principles-mod6.htm">incremental changes</a> is the weakness of <a href="https://maketheworldworkbetter.wordpress.com/2012/06/20/the-science-behind-everything-in-moderation/">moderation </a>-all the time. If we <a href="https://youtu.be/kJsYKhEV6o0">don't go for it</a> then we will never get there. It's the <a href="https://youtu.be/EfqVnj-sgcc">Dichotomy Paradox</a>. Hence the reference to the <a href="http://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/moonshot">moonshot</a>. We will never know what we are capable of unless we try. There is great <a href="http://healthypsych.com/the-value-of-trying/">value in trying</a>. The lessons <a href="https://youtu.be/9fdcIwHKd_s">we can learn from trying</a>. But to <a href="http://depauliaonline.com/2016/04/03/media-coverage-sanders-campaign/">dismiss a thing as impossible</a> is to discount its value and the value of trying. I find <a href="https://berniesanders.com/issues/how-bernie-pays-for-his-proposals/">value in all Sanders' proposals</a>. And if only meet half of them or only get <a href="https://youtu.be/lDK9QqIzhwk">halfway there</a> then <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/clinton-joins-cuomo-event-celebrate-15-minimum-wage-article-1.2588167">we are better off</a>. I'm an optimist, but also a realist. Now is the time to <a href="http://psychcentral.com/lib/realism-and-optimism-do-you-need-both/">try to be both</a>. <a href="http://www.economist.com/node/21564418">We are two countries</a> and the poorest more <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/voter-disenfranchisement/">disenfranchised </a>will never be able to succeed if the <a href="http://www.salon.com/2014/09/29/the_big_middle_class_rip_off_how_a_short_sale_taught_me_rich_peoples_ethics/">richest most privileged tell us</a> it's <a href="http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/shoot_moon/shoot_moon.png">impossible</a>... And <a href="https://youtu.be/9vQaVIoEjOM">we listen</a>.</span><div>
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Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-3813908794094959032016-04-01T11:13:00.001-05:002016-04-01T11:13:15.194-05:00April FoolishnessI got <a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/1b/19/bf/1b19bf24701161efd8a421095ce96856.jpg">my first car</a>.<br />
I <a href="https://youtu.be/oqwzuiSy9y0">lost my first car</a>.<br />
I got a <a href="https://youtu.be/qA4FtHUKVPE">fast car</a>, fast enough to fly away<br />
My <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Dodge">favorite author</a> was born.<br />
My <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/books/97/03/02/lifetimes/nab-v-obit.html">favorite author died</a>.<br />
I published <a href="http://smile.amazon.com/Cant-Spell-Slaughter-Without-Laughter-ebook/dp/B0046LVBC0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1459524768&sr=8-1&keywords=slaughter+without+laughter+cherry">my first book</a><br />
I lost my only book to a <a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Reboot-a-Crashed-Windows-Computer">computer crash</a><br />
My <a href="https://youtu.be/0P5jV4lHHR0">favorite musician</a> was born.<br />
My <a href="http://blackbag.gawker.com/how-did-kurt-cobain-really-die-the-murder-conspiracy-t-1690091851">favorite musician died</a>.<br />
I sold <a href="https://youtu.be/Fe93CLbHjxQ">my first song</a><br />
My first <a href="https://youtu.be/N6uEMOeDZsA">song was stolen</a><br />
I had <a href="http://www.marketwatch.com/story/whatll-you-have-not-a-pabst-blue-ribbon-2015-07-16">my first drink</a>.<br />
I had my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/267924753340169/">last drink</a>.<br />
I had <a href="https://youtu.be/uc21PlNtthU">my first cigarette</a>.<br />
I had my <a href="https://youtu.be/pNAELH8WuXI">last cigarette</a>.<br />
In <a href="https://youtu.be/VdphvuyaV_I">the midnight hour</a> I cried, "more... more... more."<br />
With a rebel yell<a href="https://youtu.be/UOxk8kFAbZE"> I cried</a>, "more...more...more."<br />
I <a href="http://www.1023xlc.com/">started my forever job</a>.<br />
I <a href="http://www.bloomberg.com/research/stocks/private/snapshot.asp?privcapid=362690">lost my forever job</a><br />
I got the first punch on my <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VCard">V-card</a><br />
I got the <a href="https://youtu.be/KG2M4ttzBnY">tenth punch on my V-card</a> and a free 6" sub.<br />
I was <a href="https://youtu.be/BgKZgwkwOAQ?list=PL2Q-pa9LafRgK4HD3yEOztoYBCjwynlbf">denied recruitment</a> due to disability<br />
I <a href="http://www.boom-studios.com/ufology-full-series-subscription-contains-issues-01-06-5191.html">witnessed a UFO</a><br />
I witnessed <a href="https://youtu.be/csATriX8Ed0">an Angel</a><br />
I witnessed <a href="https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081227121624AAzi9J0">a Demon</a><br />
I became a <a href="https://carm.org/is-the-jehovahs-witness-religion-christian">Jehovah's Witness</a><br />
I started my own <a href="http://www.heavensgate.com/">cult, by accident</a><br />
I saw <a href="https://youtu.be/CLKl6FIBH0U">my favorite band</a> in concert.<br />
I saw my <a href="https://youtu.be/eqS5pJDX5j4">least favorite band</a> in concert<br />
I went to <a href="https://youtu.be/ypEAq5EtFJ4">my first concert</a><br />
My <a href="http://www.ala.org/offices/olos/nbdhome">first visit to the bookmobile</a><br />
My last visit to <a href="http://www.mprnews.org/story/2015/04/01/books-book-briefs">the bookmobile</a><br />
I <a href="http://www.districtdispatch.org/2012/07/oil-crisis/">drove the bookmobile</a><br />
I found <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sallytimlincherry?fref=ts">my true love</a><br />
I <a href="https://youtu.be/ymt1w7Hs2rU">lost my first love</a><br />
I found my first love with my true love, <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/07/multiple-lovers-no-jealousy/374697/">lovin' each other</a><br />
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<br />Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-88277472556613261202016-03-29T18:50:00.001-05:002016-03-29T18:50:08.757-05:00Conjugating Visitations GPS<span id="docs-internal-guid-acc914fc-c4b4-5608-200c-2d2c24b9b8e4"></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A <a href="https://youtu.be/jWiGP6Xjqgw">grope </a>is only a promise of <a href="https://youtu.be/Lbt9DDolcag">things to come</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A <a href="http://www.almanac.com/plant/grapes">grape </a>is a promise of <a href="https://youtu.be/zFsE0gayujc">wine </a>to come.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gripe_water">gripe </a>is a p</span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">romise of <a href="https://youtu.be/UGLx4zzMdRA">trouble </a>yet to come.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A <a href="https://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html">group </a>is a promise of <a href="https://youtu.be/DNV2ttK6UxA">someone to be left out</a>.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://youtu.be/VbA3rICvRVo">Grappa</a> is the promise of a <a href="http://www.kidsgen.com/fables_and_fairytales/fox_and_grapes.htm">grape, long ago</a>.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://youtu.be/g20geIoePzE">Greap </a>is the promise of <a href="http://www.playtheend.com/game">the end</a>.</span></li>
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Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-24038646581758064412016-03-26T14:58:00.001-05:002016-03-26T14:58:20.399-05:00Something's Vile in Alberta<span id="docs-internal-guid-5d4bef93-b42a-5a05-44da-b70b2312dd78"></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A <a href="https://youtu.be/659pppwniXA">Vile </a>Vortex, also known as a <a href="http://deadline.com/2015/01/discovery-channel-new-chief-rich-ross-fake-documentaries-tca-1201344279/">Devil’s Graveyard</a>, is a purportedly tricky site </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">of unexplained disappearances and other <a href="https://youtu.be/v75wCTMZoSY">mysterious phenomena</a>. Most notable of these are the Bermuda Triangle and the Devil's Sea near Japan. A new one was <a href="http://www.rawstory.com/2016/02/neurologist-explains-why-its-hard-to-look-at-ted-cruzs-creepy-unsettling-face/">discovered on December 22, 1970</a> and is centered on Foothills General Hospital in Calgary, Canada.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The <a href="http://ask.metafilter.com/271164/Are-there-separate-fart-and-poop-muscles">urgency </a>of a fart and the urgency of diarrhea feel exactly the same. Don’t be caught with your <a href="https://youtu.be/9q_6w1cF8GI">pants up</a>.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Descarfes held that non-human politicians could be reductively explained as <a href="http://www.dugnorth.com/blog/uploaded_images/mechanisms-Spooner.jpg">automata </a>— Dum homine, 1666.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">An epiphenomenon is a secondary phenomenon that <a href="https://youtu.be/eRdcL2qKt6k">occurs alongside or in parallel</a> to a primary phenomenon, which is to say </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">the epiphenomenon is a consequence of the primary phenomenon. Often it implies a mind-body connection in which the physical experience connects to a thought or vice-versa. For example: Thinking of you gives me a <a href="https://youtu.be/VSG3gtI58Cs">boner</a>.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-variant: normal; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After the loss of public interest in space exploration after the </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b0080; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1860871_1860876_1860992,00.html">Apollo 11</a></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> mission, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><i><a href="https://youtu.be/-3YmE5yhKxM">J</a></i></b></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://youtu.be/-3YmE5yhKxM">ourney to the Far Side of the Sun</a> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">was considered a flop of a movie. Little know was this was a fictionalized account of our discovery of the Counter-Earth. The place where <a href="http://yournewswire.com/i-was-in-the-illuminati-im-going-to-tell-you-everything-shocking-expose/">the true Illuminati</a> are planning to move based on the next <a href="http://www.270towin.com/">Presidential election</a>.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sometimes <a href="http://io9.gizmodo.com/the-9-weirdest-implications-of-the-many-worlds-interpre-1692618056">science </a>is <a href="http://art-csep.cnsi.ucsb.edu/gallery?field_year_value%5Bvalue%5D%5Byear%5D=&items_per_page=All">more art</a> than <a href="https://youtu.be/pDG_V31caMo">science</a>.</span></li>
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</span>Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-18466956899449987402016-03-24T14:45:00.001-05:002016-03-24T14:45:17.197-05:00Thematically Dispersed<span id="docs-internal-guid-5d4bef93-aa0d-a24f-9b40-58319015c431"></span><br />
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ruJBKFrRCk">I can’t even</a>,” you say? Psssht. I already didn’t have <a href="https://youtu.be/ozW9KTg5Dbs">bothered</a>.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dev, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE0bEztkIQU">Val</a>, Qual, and Prod sounds less like IT environments and more like <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/maggyvaneijk/ze-snappen-er-niks-van#.rt7jrMKwb">Dutch </a>porn stars.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://youtu.be/4JW9zHZI3VA">New dirty</a> word: </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Schlurck</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Verb. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(of a person or animal) be or remain hidden so as to wait in <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%201:10-19">ambush for someone to swallow</a>.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Word that <a href="https://youtu.be/TNzkVDf6dTc">sounds dirty</a> but isn’t: </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Skroot</b></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Verb. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2c353c; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To take </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mung_(computer_term)">potentially destructive data</a> and crowdsource it for validity and potential utility.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The meticulous nature of your first daily <a href="https://youtu.be/C2Q7SMIQumA">cup of tea</a> is inversely proportional to the necessity of your <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/thousands-overdosing-on-caffeine-as-coffee-crisis-sparks-call-for-urgent-action-10491259.html">6th cup of the day</a>.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If someone <a href="https://hbr.org/2015/05/recovering-from-an-emotional-outburst-at-work">tells you how they feel,</a> pay no attention. Language is the worst way of conveying a complex emotion. If that same person hands you a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOaAVdOlMJQ">painting </a>as part of an <a href="https://youtu.be/XxP00ymX20A">interpretive dance</a>? That shit’s the really real, so you better <a href="https://youtu.be/8K2JYdY2Hok">take heed</a>.</span></li>
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Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-71935588809274744012016-03-23T21:57:00.003-05:002016-03-23T21:58:26.429-05:00A Return to Impossible<span id="docs-internal-guid-5d4bef93-a66c-e3ea-fd91-8315d24dfae4"></span><br />
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sometimes it is not about <a href="https://youtu.be/eFgRj-5d5Ac">about the thing</a>, <a href="https://youtu.be/nnl6nY8YKHs">sometimes it is actually the thing</a>.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The <a href="http://www.torrentseduction.com/law-of-transference-of-emotion/">transference </a>of an emotion, an idea, an image, or a notion through a medium is <a href="https://youtu.be/xpRSmMnx1MU">the essence</a> of art.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Before Queen E, I fancied myself a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Page_of_Honour#Victoria">Child of Honor</a>, which is to say that I have groomed Friesians as <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hengist_and_Horsa">Hengist </a>for the Old Frisians. As a man of hench, a <a href="http://img10.deviantart.net/c606/i/2014/103/0/c/rwby_henchman_cosplay_by_kordite-d7ecl9x.jpg">henchman</a>, you could say I have, albeit erroneously, been known to serve at the haunch. The haunch being the place where the leg and the hip join. I live at this joint, somewhat behind. It can be said that this place I live, the place that gives me life… is the ass. I am an <a href="https://youtu.be/pn1VGytzXus">ass man</a>.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A <a href="http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09736b.htm">martyr </a>is a man who suffers persecution and death for his beliefs. A <a href="http://www.heathencomic.com/">heathen </a>is one who suffers persecution and death for yours.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://theweek.com/captured/446321/fascinating-origin-story-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles">The first</a> of its kind is often the most joyous time in history, <a href="https://youtu.be/vZoSD-riiy0">the last</a> of it’s kind the saddest.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Her <a href="http://40.media.tumblr.com/ebbd92a46be3440955e27070a69a1657/tumblr_nsflhm4zzV1usptk4o1_500.jpg">light exertion in the morning sun</a>, aggrieves the sensible and brings on my <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Book-Kink-Beyond-Missionary/dp/0399536949">osphresiolagnia</a></span></li>
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Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-74505449602213830102013-05-20T13:29:00.002-05:002013-05-20T13:29:46.620-05:00Working with Tools. Part 1<div style="text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After returning from Germany, one of my work colleagues (K) who went on the trip stopped by my desk to see how my return flight was. Small talk, small talk, small talk...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I mentioned that I brought home some delicious and hardy German bread from a cool bakery I found on Hauptstraße. I explained it was called "Candy Mix" and she got all flustered like it was actually filled with candy. I told her that it was a truly multigrain bread unlike the brown white bread we get in the US. I told her it was covered and filled with nuts and seeds. We proceeded to have this conversation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">K: Did you claim it on your customs form?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">M: Why?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">K: Seeds.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">M: Seeds? No. That part of the form is about plants and plantable seeds. Like Agriculture.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">K:It doesn't matter. It doesn't specify what kind of seeds.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">M: Would you really would have claimed a loaf of multigrain bread because of the seeds.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">K:Yes, I would.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">M:Really.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">K:Yes, it says seeds.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">M:Would you claim a poppyseed muffin?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">K:Yes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">M:Really?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">K:Yes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">M:A poppyseed muffin? Come on.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">K:Well, did I eat it at the airport?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">M:If you did you wouldn't have to claim it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">K:Then yes, still.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">M: Have you ever heard anybody talk about the Spirit of the Law over the Letter of the Law?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">K:Sure, I know the letter of the law.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">M:That's for sure.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And you might extrapolate that working and traveling with her is a freaking treat. I'm not saying that I enjoy "rule breakers" but I certainly do not enjoy strict adherents to the rules. No fun. No fun at all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-style: normal; line-height: 12.800000190734863px;"><br /></em></span>Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-44146991987724359402012-09-14T13:26:00.005-05:002012-09-14T13:26:46.695-05:00The Lone Ranger's Creed<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">The Lone Ranger's Creed</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"I believe that to have a friend,</div>
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a man must be one. </div>
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<br /></div>
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That all men are created equal</div>
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and that everyone has within himself</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the power to make this a better world. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That God put the firewood there</div>
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but that every man</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
must gather and light it himself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
In being prepared</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
physically, mentally, and morally</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
to fight when necessary</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
for that which is right. </div>
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<br /></div>
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That a man should make the most</div>
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of what equipment he has.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That 'This government,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
of the people, by the people</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and for the people'</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
shall live always.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That men should live by</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the rule of what is best</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
for the greatest number. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That sooner or later...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
somewhere...somehow...</div>
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we must settle with the world</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and make payment for what we have taken.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That all things change but truth,</div>
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and that truth alone, lives on forever.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
In my Creator, my country, my fellow man."</div>
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<a href="http://www.endeavorcomics.com/largent/ranger/rangandsil.GIF" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.endeavorcomics.com/largent/ranger/rangandsil.GIF" width="180" /></a></div>
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Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-52472363047695881902012-08-09T18:18:00.001-05:002012-08-09T18:18:10.531-05:00My next band...<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">My next band will be a hardcore emo shoegazer project in which every song will evoke the emotional equivalent of a lemon-juice-eye-scrape. We will be named <b>The Duckling Slaughterhouse 5</b>. Our first LP will be entitled <i>Unexpurgated</i>. You will not be cool enough to attend our first show but you may be cool enough to lie and say you were there... and we sucked.</span>
</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Track 1: </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 9.333333015441895px;">Runny Nose and Bad Intent</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Track 2: </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 9.333333015441895px;">Auto-Neurotic Asphyxiation</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Track 3: </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 9.333333015441895px;">Unironic Love Song in D Minor</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Track 4: </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 9.333333015441895px;">Laughtrack for My Loneliness</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Track 5: </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 9.333333015441895px;">Brunchfuck</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Track 6: </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 9.333333015441895px;">Arterial Insufficiency</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Track 7: </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 9.333333015441895px;">Swallow (Or the Terrorists Win)</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Track 8: </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 9.333333015441895px;">Whiskeyboarding</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Track 9: </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 9.333333015441895px;">The Unbearable Lightness of Joy</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Track 10: </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 9.333333015441895px;">It's Only Hard Until it Isn't</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Track 11: </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 9.333333015441895px;">I Sparkle, I Bite</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Track 12: </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 9.333333015441895px;">Spankthrift</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 9.333333015441895px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white;">Bonus Track: Twerkfare</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">And a 6 minute darkwave cover of:
</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/rkZ2_nKo7II/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rkZ2_nKo7II&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rkZ2_nKo7II&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-55686395003334977442012-04-23T13:48:00.000-05:002012-04-23T13:48:52.075-05:00A Return to Belief, 6 Things.It has been a while. I hope this will be more regular than it has been. Remember to hit the embedded links for more fun.<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li><a href="http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/bat-bites-10000001875211/">Bat bites</a> give people <a href="http://www.cracked.com/article_17185_7-awesome-super-powers-ruined-by-science.html">super powers</a>.</li>
<li>Everything that is <a href="http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4175670/Incredible-Rob-Gillett-is-so-large-he-is-rounder-than-he-is-tall.html">wider than it is tall</a> is meant to be <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvZRAigO3-U">enjoyed while laying on your side</a>.</li>
<li><a href="http://youtu.be/_MIQ8No2WZs">Punchification </a>isn't just fun, <a href="http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=776_1334006283">it is a way of life</a>... for your face.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/che_esco/4906571740/">Anything worth doing</a> is worth doing <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Do_HpqILPLo">mono-chromatically</a>.</li>
<li>I personally know people that are <a href="http://testing.turinghub.com/">unlikely to pass</a> the <a href="http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/turing-test/">Turing Test</a>.</li>
<li>The world's <a href="http://www.openforum.com/idea-hub/topics/innovation/article/the-12-dumbest-business-ideas-of-all-time-that-made-millions-1">economic troubles</a> and <a href="http://mises.org/daily/5489">swirling bouts of depression</a> could be solved with Live Ani<a href="http://www.butlerstatue.com/cat_animal_butlers.cfm">mal Butlers</a>.</li>
</ol>
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<br />Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-53150496956656711062012-01-29T12:50:00.002-06:002012-01-29T12:50:19.445-06:00Dream lyric: About youI got a hole in my liver in the shape of you.Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-90906798834884640922011-11-24T08:26:00.001-06:002011-11-24T08:31:26.015-06:00Thanksgiving Tradition<b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Ryan's Traditional Cranberry Sauce Recipe</span></u></b><br />
<br />
Step 1. Open can.<br />
Step 2. Slide out the purple gelatinous cylinder.<br />
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<a href="http://www.oxypowder.com/images/cranberry_sauce_can.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.oxypowder.com/images/cranberry_sauce_can.jpg" /></a></div>
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Step 3. Slice along can indentations.<br />
Step 4. Serve on festive McDonalds plate<br />
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<a href="http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Vintage-Ronald-McDonald-Plate-McNugget-Band-1989-/17/!CDuIYu!Bmk~$(KGrHqQOKiQEz9(zkeQ!BNPhHdM6Gw~~_35.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Vintage-Ronald-McDonald-Plate-McNugget-Band-1989-/17/!CDuIYu!Bmk~$(KGrHqQOKiQEz9(zkeQ!BNPhHdM6Gw~~_35.JPG" /></a></div>
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Step 5. Place in corner and pretend nobody is going to eat it.<br />
Step 6. Marvel at how many people are subconsciously drawn to its jiggly tartness.Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-90298338790051850652011-11-17T19:22:00.001-06:002011-11-17T19:47:42.348-06:00Evolution of a Post<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
So this is how my brain works. I'll let you decide the level
of insanity.</div>
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<br /></div>
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This morning I woke up with <a href="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSBlaeGFQ_T4l6MXUKhrhTsgQeDn6e7fvbf57YyB-qZs00gaM-HVbKvcg4A2A">Wild Horses</a> playing from inside the
dream. It simultaneously existed as the original <a href="http://open.spotify.com/track/52dm9op3rbfAkc1LGXgipW">The Rolling Stones</a> version and
<a href="http://open.spotify.com/track/418gyIJdAZSZisVdzDXLNc">The Sundays</a> and <a href="http://open.spotify.com/track/1Ih371XgMBsusUwbgHrZVp">Labelle </a>versions. </div>
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<br /></div>
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And I thought to myself what else is on that album? <a href="http://open.spotify.com/track/01JYvQ6udfhUw9Jed9EzoK">Bitch</a>. or <a href="http://open.spotify.com/track/1ZS5HBMAmZk3gjFcedts66">Sway</a>. Mmmmm <a href="http://open.spotify.com/track/61UuPxxYUvacEH6SHIK3sU">Brown Sugar</a>. The Album? Sticky Fingers. </div>
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<br /></div>
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How a propos that I awoke half aroused, hand in the <a href="http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/70790?feat=595-GN1&productId=1188142">flannelpajama pants</a>, and playing in the slowly fading fog songs from <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=956vnOMrJ28">Sticky Fingers</a>.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wait a minute. I always thought it was about thievery,
especially with <a href="http://open.spotify.com/track/4uhJps8XVlPZbdI5ZArAUO">You Gotta Move</a> on the album. Perhaps it was instead about... <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkUOYOc8ygA">adifferent kind of sticky fingers</a>. He he he.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Now the "dirty" album cover makes more sense. Oh.
Oh! Ok. Duh.</div>
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<a href="http://nationalguitarmuseum.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/RollingStonesstickyfingers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://nationalguitarmuseum.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/RollingStonesstickyfingers.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Still, Sticky Fingers is a pretty good album. It's no<a href="http://open.spotify.com/album/5U4dnRZsfW8NmwBBkELFPh"> Exileon Main Street</a>. Come to think of it <a href="http://open.spotify.com/track/67lRBx0P3WaEl6nlFHtffy">Tumbling Dice</a>... is a later (not as good) version of <a href="http://open.spotify.com/track/1Y7a8V3ihh9zpmmiqJ3sue">Good Time Women</a>
which was recorded for uh. <a href="http://stickyfingersbakery.com/">Sticky Fingers</a>.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so I must decide here in the morning, alone. What more
to think about<a href="http://www.stickyfingers.com/default.aspx"> Sticky Fingers</a>? Do I go to the cold shower and wash away the
last of the dream? Do I <a href="http://www.dribbleglass.com/subpages/euphemisms.htm">work on my own version of Sticky Fingers</a>? A two handed
solo on <a href="http://open.spotify.com/track/1hIQPCM3oWXrpnXmgTDaKG">Can't You Hear Me Knocking?</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Instead I log into Facebook and post:</div>
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"Sticky Fingers was awesome by the <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr0I8cqyjT7n4c23-03DQ5jnzlMo6fVu5e_L6oCX4k8L91_59rgDyx4TVCYyAXMKMOmePMjssWUr82eyzAGOrT6sF1Zrq_aErkW644LYvdNEsamiTbbDssysbxGlk7mrwWOHSlc01lNag/s400/SpanishSticky.jpg">Spanish Cover</a> was weird."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Along with this link to Brown Sugar of Mick Jagger in a
laaaaaaaaame hat.</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/3B0Y3LUqr1Q?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<br /></div>Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-23232148616914475872011-11-16T13:26:00.001-06:002011-11-16T13:28:10.577-06:00What Are They Doing In There?<br />
When I was a younger man I was bewildered and mystified by the women's bathroom. What goes on in there? Why do they go in groups? What takes so long? There were rumors of couches and vending machines and pillow fights and who knows what else.<br />
<br />
As an older man I have been in the women's bathroom for one reason or another and there is little mystical about it. True there are slightly more amenities in some of the nicer establishments, but nothing that exactly explains the lavatory pack behavior.<br />
<br />
I have a new curiosity. The Lactation Room. Before today I just assumed it was where working mothers went to express milk. But today I have seen a working woman dressed to the nines and carrying no bags enter the room and not come directly out.<br />
<br />
What is going on in there? Suddenly I imagine that there is a fake wall in that room behind which some Eyes Wide Shut scenario is going on. The pharmaceutical business men and women form around the world are getting their kicks in exchange for large drug sales.<br />
<br />
I am tempted to look inside but in case it is what it says it is... my boobgaze may be unwelcome.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://faculty.stedwards.edu/wgreine/eyes-wide-shut-masks-costumes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://faculty.stedwards.edu/wgreine/eyes-wide-shut-masks-costumes.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-33319805033404711342011-09-20T10:39:00.000-05:002011-09-20T10:39:19.626-05:00Ineffective Foodie Sexual Euphemisms, and Pick-up Lines<br />
<ol>
<li>I'm going to slap my <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xapwoe_the-naughty-kitchen-with-chef-blyth_shortfilms">bacon </a>under your<a href="http://www.topjokes4u.com/joke645.htm"> tomato and on top of your lettuce</a>.</li>
<li>Let me <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pE4DzxvEYCo">separate </a>your <a href="http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/ewi/pump.html">egg whites</a>.</li>
<li>Pour your <a href="http://draft.blogger.com/goog_680859099">hot mix</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://youtu.be/OK5q1bU59Ic">ture of <span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #333333; line-height: 16px;">soybean oil, artificial flavoring, beta carotene for color, and preservatives laced with </span>Diacetyl </a> all over my <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvDvTnTGjgQ">popcorn</a>, baby.</span></li>
<li>Let me show you on <a href="http://www.sew-dolling.com/dollys_friends.htm">the doll</a> where I want you to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYDa8_Bq1HQ">touch me</a>.</li>
<li>Do you<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpGD1ZATcuA"> have any aspirin?</a> I don't think <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPmM632NSbs">Tylenol </a>is doing anything for this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6144RV4c-9w">throbbing</a>.</li>
<li>Do these <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4kfS4rQi3M">Khakis </a>make my <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLCKSPFrkJQ">balls look big</a>?</li>
</ol>
Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-89676308477975687592011-09-19T11:43:00.002-05:002011-09-19T11:43:23.888-05:00Bad Ideas for CosPlayRole playing, costume play, usually follow the convention of two roles that generally work together like Chocolate and Peanut Butter or Teacher and Schoolgirl. But they are often cliched, overused, tired, and boring. I tried to think of some good ones but instead came up with terrible ones. Enjoy.<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gy54ox6NaJU">Dentist </a>and the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MR6D7tL38U">Diva</a>.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGFRnSQmcn8">Duchess </a>and the <a href="http://videosift.com/video/O-Archduke-Campeo-do-Bundeo">Time Traveling Pimp</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL4mywCOJXA">Elbows </a>and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs&ob=av3e">Assholes</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdeSh3vLvYI">Captain Hoo</a>k and the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt-OAyTcd_Q">Babysitter</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/BloatedChick">Beer Belly</a> and the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ6xsAtig78">Body Stocking</a></li>
<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fictional_universe_of_Avatar#Astronomy_and_geology">Polyphemus </a>and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acis_and_Galatea_(Handel)">Galatea</a></li>
</ol>
<br />Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-27948605052377681292011-09-14T16:07:00.001-05:002011-09-14T16:07:40.240-05:00Good and Evil, Mostly Evil, and Lots of Nudity.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">1. I want to live
a life such that when I die they <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Angel-Wings-Antique-Bronze-Sculpture/dp/B002NTZJVQ">bronze my guardian angel's</a> wings and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnVUHWCynig">retire his halo</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">2. To be <a href="http://www.jewfaq.org/kashrut.htm">Kosher</a>,
the <a href="http://www.saisriskandarajah.com/happymeat/why.php">meat must come from something</a> that <a href="http://www.comereason.org/bibl_cntr/con055.asp">chews cud</a> AND has a <a href="http://www.robinartisson.com/scarespite/Pan.jpg">cloven hoof</a>.
Soooooooo, an evil vegetarian is Kosher? <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYqq7DR_ZYGyOoW9xgUjS6OSw7LgLVPDxxpdIGsFnUhGifD6mUYAf_9y0nZH9Mc5MOrrZQQDy0wmzRaxeDfvuVHSjUlw8BAtWf3umdbVjIvwHK-NHvnxb59XwrcL10E1LoLMKOTcCGKIM/s640/cartman-sweet.jpg">Sweeeeeeeet</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">2a. What's the
difference between an <a href="http://www.gocomics.com/redmeat/2011/08/13">Evil </a>Vegetarian and a Vegetarian <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_OcR0fbf6g">Evil</a>? One is a <a href="http://www.vegetariansareevil.com/killers.html">scrawny cloven hoofed malcontent</a>; the other is a <a href="http://www.meatlessmonday.com/">scourge of meatlessness</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">3. When the
<a href="http://gizmodo.com/5840137/if-you-are-famous-and-take-nude-photos-of-yourself-they-will-end-up-on-the-internet">inevitable nude photos of me</a> are leaked, you all will be <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/kashmirhill/2011/09/06/absolute-software-settles-lawsuit-over-nude-photos/">clamoring for legal restitution</a> and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1502668362577&set=a.1532258262306.80237.1110263510&type=1&theater">not me</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">4. I miss <a href="http://ehealthforum.com/health/topic58755.html#b">the size</a> of <a href="http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/hostess/">Twinkies</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">5. I would very
much like to <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/2020/powerball-winner-cursed/story?id=3012631">win the lottery</a>, <a href="http://www.cracked.com/blog/10-awesome-ways-to-quit-your-job/">quit work</a>, and <a href="http://drjubal.deviantart.com/art/Steampunk-Vampire-Slaying-Kit-95699221">make art</a>. Necessarily all of them,
but <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/05/19/top-10-most-painful-profe_n_102401.html">not necessarily in that order</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">6. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Students-Guide-Success-Achiever-Connections/dp/1585425567">The C student</a> is
just <a href="http://crooksandliars.com/tina-dupuy/d-science-student-rick-perry-flunks-gal">a D student</a> with <a href="http://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/ill-be-using-these-to-my-advantage/?xid=0858f0d8-0efa-8a24-e193-ca74a494473f">a nice rack</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-63108472455639085702011-09-10T19:48:00.000-05:002011-09-10T19:48:44.080-05:00Clean up on aisles 6 and 9.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whilst taking the kid for a cheap fast lunch at the local
supermarket (you know the scary one with the terrible lighting but is super
convenient, on the right side of the street, and is cheap?), I witnessed
perhaps the coolest thing to happen in Woodstock. Maybe there is a secret underground,
underbelly, undercurrent that I am simply unaware of, but I think this was
special.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An absolutely knock-down, drag-out, stone-cold, gorgeous
woman dressed to kill in a retro little black dress, real stockings with the
line up the back, teetering on the highest of heels, with a big red flower in
her hair is strutting through the store. With her is a tall, broad, shaved
bald, obviously tattooed, and mildly imposing gentlemen. I can't figure out
whether he is her boyfriend, client, or "handler."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The two of them make their way with a cart toward the back
of the store where the bakery is. Jubilee and I make our way through the market
in no particular hurry or any discernable pattern, often hitting the same aisle
3 times. I see them talking to various store employees until I notice that the
cart begins to fill with, what appears to be day old cakes and cream pies. Once
that is full (!) they get another cart and fill it with store brand milk and
package flats of instant pudding - all flavors.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jubilee, as charming to one as to all, is wowed by the cart
full of deserts and the pretty lady gives her a smile. Jubilee runs off to rant
about how we need supplied for some imaginary surprise party. By the time we
get to the checkout line, the strange couple is behind us. They have added lawn
sized garbage bags to their two carts of cakes, pies, and pudding fixins. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It
occurs to me that I have seen something about this before. These two aren't
heading for any ordinary party; they are heading to a <a href="http://www.wetandmessy.com/home.php">WAM </a>(Wet and Messy) or <a href="http://www.splosh.co.uk/">Splosh </a>party.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And maybe it's not a party at all, but an event or<a href="http://fatal-femme.net/buy/?tag=wet-and-messy"> a photo shoot</a> or <a href="http://umd.net/forums/forum/classifieds">a private engagement</a>. Whatever the destination, this pretty lady is<a href="http://umd.net/home"> gonna sit on stuff, get covered by things</a>, and men will cheer and gnash their
teeth. Oh my! Right here in Woodstock. I need to shop for dinner more often.</div>
Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-77150924709538869362011-09-09T10:52:00.000-05:002011-09-09T10:52:13.405-05:00Your Favorite Band Sucks and So Does Everything Else<br />
<ol>
<li>If the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A83pZxL2cvo">best example of your genre</a> sucks then <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_punk">your genre sucks</a>.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wqW1IgSKmI">Absinthe </a>makes the heart grow <a href="http://youtu.be/f-Yv7j2cGAs">♫flarnderrrrrrrr®®®®§‰¢♫</a></li>
<li>Apparently mouth ulcers and external <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #101010; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/health/465085/Odd-cures-for-health-problems-How-a-banana-can-fix-a-splinter-Sun-health.html">haemorrhoids can be treated </a>with, wait for it... <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/09/teabag-party-mix-up-video_n_185058.html">teabagging</a>.</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #101010; line-height: 20px;">Art is <a href="http://consumerist.com/2011/09/la-city-councilman-proposes-making-spray-paint-buyers-provide-addresses-ids.html">not a crime... yet</a>.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #101010; line-height: 20px;"><a href="http://www.npr.org/programs/all-things-considered/">All things considered</a>, I'll have a <a href="http://popvssoda.com/">Fizzy Lifting Drink</a> with <a href="http://www.cosmosmagazine.com/node/2117">a twist of lime</a>.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #101010; line-height: 20px;">What would<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> a <a href="http://draft.blogger.com/goog_536055729"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; line-height: 19px;">Möbius </span>Str</a></span><a href="http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/pickover/mobius-book.html">ip Club</a> be like? I suspect you get a lot <a href="http://www.wri.org/publication/content/7977">for your dollar</a>.</span></li>
</ol>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #101010; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #101010; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-14079510006081430692011-09-08T13:20:00.000-05:002011-09-08T13:20:03.640-05:00Bones and Skin, Transformations and Titles<br />
<ol>
<li>I got <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8mz9uOvFQA">grindmarks </a>on my <a href="http://hipbonestudio.com/">hipbones </a>and <a href="http://news.discovery.com/history/cannibalism-early-humans-bones-101213.html">gnawmarks </a>on my <a href="http://www.neckbone.net/">neckbones</a>.</li>
<li>In this version of the <a href="http://www.prophecyupdate.com/">End of Days</a>, we are no longer <a href="http://www.countryliving.com/recipefinder/bedeviled-eggs-3009">bedeviled</a> and <a href="http://www.hulu.com/bewitched">bewitched </a>but <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitx-gwz56x6EqMLSwWTXQtqXgod2b4q5ehSDu94WkTcRKUIuNuyWkvi58lC2GglXzR8b5kAlPJgiSdNhDwk0_BUt4bXEMP4DTGxSa6YaB1XrZAbnXPKNAOLR3syMvhUwJU8kElbBrkkMba/s400/vamp.jpg">bevamped </a>and <a href="http://www.zombieplace.com/marvelzombies1.jpg">bezombied</a>.</li>
<li>My <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5RaDCYKbQo">skin feels alive</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Im-Not-High/dp/B0043UO3II/ref=tmm_aud_title_0?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2">I'm not high</a>. When the <a href="http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0483.html">endorphins </a>wear off, I suspect, I will find myself on the <a href="http://www.holisticonline.com/herbal-med/_herbs/grapefruit-interactions-how-does-grapefruit-cause-interaction.htm">highway to ibuprofin</a>.</li>
<li>As I get older, my <a href="http://www.avclub.com/articles/introduction-to-av-undercover,38989/">enjoyment of onion</a> increases. I fear I am becoming my <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Bradburys-Electric-Grandmother-Maureen-Stapleton/dp/B0001CKHR8">grandmother</a>.</li>
<li>How come the <a href="http://pbskids.org/catinthehat/printables/">Cat in the Hat</a> won't come get the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MouseHunt_(film)">Mouse in my House</a>? <i><a href="http://cdn1.ticketsinventory.com/images/last_photos/concert/P/pussycat-dolls/pussycat-dolls_2011_1303345750046.png">Pussy</a></i>.</li>
<li>If I could <a href="http://www.oddee.com/item_96855.aspx">choose a job</a> and its <a href="http://www.regaltitles.com/">title for myself</a>, I propose <a href="http://www.forbes.com/2006/07/26/cz_cv_0726heiressslide.html?thisSpeed=35000">Billionaire Cunt</a>, MD.</li>
</ol>
<br />
<br />Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-73499323014289359372011-09-07T14:34:00.001-05:002011-09-07T19:01:03.171-05:00Hearts, Heads, Hands, and Hooch<br />
<ol>
<li>How many <a href="http://www.legendsofamerica.com/ca-donnerparty.html">pioneers died on the trail </a>to the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNqATBMH6IM&ob=av2n">promise of your heart</a>?</li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">I had a dream that I wore a medieval style <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX9ZuwWRpRo">male chastity belt</a> to my 40th birthday party and there were a series of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS7-jcsB_WQ">endurance events, mental trials, and object auctions</a> to get the <a href="http://www.buy.com/prod/vintage-antique-iron-4-5-h-lock-padlock-with-keys-reproduction/q/sellerid/23792448/loc/66357/211496394.html">actual key</a> to open it.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">I need the <a href="http://shenews.projo.com/2011/09/a-real-life-like-button.html">Like button</a> for everything in this <a href="http://secondlife.com/">online life</a>. Let's start by installing one on <a href="http://pages.city2000.net/~mking/mw4.htm">the top of your head</a>.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">If we start calling all our problems "<a href="http://www.troubadour.com/">The Troubs</a>" then they sound more like <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHXeo57xj3k">a nice sitcom family</a> than <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zROEfeUSUs&ob=av2e">soul crushing issues of life and death</a>.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYeHLyYif5I">Looking at you</a> makes me <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfjTZLxekig">salivate </a>(Is it the kind right before you <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7_zyzF7PEw">throw up</a>?)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">I've got a <a href="http://wings.buffalo.edu/law/bclc/web/pafeinberg.htm">can of sterno</a> in my pants and it's<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo3rTXPnLjI"> burning for you</a>.</span></li>
</ol>
Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8336762922921445021.post-20411891758163840072011-09-01T12:59:00.000-05:002011-09-01T12:59:15.083-05:00Not Every Day is a Gem<br />
<ol>
<li>I inadvertently changed the dial on my electric <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000JPMMPM/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B000QYBB4E&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0WACCG8QFJNAXXEWMHV5">razor </a>from Sensitive to <a href="http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=51139">Sexy</a>.</li>
<li>If I could star in my own<a href="http://io9.com/5835980/the-funniest-moment-from-mtvs-undead-cop-show-death-valley"> cop show</a> I'd call it <a href="http://www.cduniverse.com/productinfo.asp?pid=6735679">Manhammer</a>.</li>
<li>I'm not sure why <a href="http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/">Roger </a>gets the credit, but you're all getting a good <a href="http://www.thefreedictionary.com/rogering">Rogering </a>for your birthdays.</li>
<li>The <a href="http://www.ivillage.com/6-surefire-ways-beat-competition-and-win-mans-heart/4-a-283700">fastest way to a man's heart </a>is a railroad <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGczXkknl80">spike</a>.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.superherosupplies.com/">Wearing a costume</a> doesn't make you mysterious, it makes you <a href="http://nerdbastards.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Captain-Awesome.jpg">awesome</a>.</li>
<li>You can l<a href="http://blog.tsa.gov/2008/07/leave-your-shoes-on.html">eave your shoes on</a>, but <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNGgvpjtq0w">the hat has to go</a>.</li>
</ol>
<br />
<br />
<br />Dr. Strangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09887309149084844978noreply@blogger.com0