Thursday, April 8, 2010

4/8 - 6 impossible things I believed before breakfast

  1. Life would be more enjoyable if ordinary things (like oil changes and paychecks) required a treasure map and had an X to mark the spot.
  2. There are two kinds of people in the world - Halfs and Half-Nots. People who are half asleep through their whole lives and people who are awake for the wonder.
  3. Food just tastes better when delivered by girls on rollerskates.
  4. The United States of America will split into two nations in the near future: The New Union of America and The United Confederates of America.
  5. The last True Daredevil (Homo Sapiens Diavolos) died in captivity in 2007 - RIP Evel. There have been sightings since then but they are of the distantly related species of Faux Daredevil (Homo Equus Asinus) which are domesticated and bred in captivity for their plumage.
  6. When we no longer need the Hyoid bone to enable the greater motion of the tongue and larynx for speech, we can finally embrace the human dewlap we so richly deserve.

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