Thursday, June 10, 2010

Brain, Brown, Burlesque, and Burps

  1. I dedicate too much RAM on Is-Its or Isn't Its. (Primary candidates: A Weave, A Thong, A Spoiler.)
  2. In the next life, brown and round.
  3. There is no such thing as a secret love. If it is secret, the best you can hope for is lust but it is probably just an obsession.
  4. Measurements taken of the tongue are great indicators of the Excitement and Plateau Phase of the human sexual response cycle, but the instrument to measure is unwieldy, painful, and generates an odor that interrupts the cycle.
  5. Modern entertainment would benefit greatly with a massive influx of burlesque and va-va-voom.
  6. The problem with fizzy lifting drinks was not that you'd continue to float up forever (until you "release" the gas). The problem was that they were made with high fructose corn syrup and even then, Wonka knew it was bad for kids.

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