Friday, May 14, 2010

Mummy, I am growing hair in weird places...

  1. In the Ultimate Battle-Beard Championship title round, Alan Moore will use his Glycon Attack and the Northampton Accent Gambit to fight to a draw Rick Ruben with his Beastie Boy Tag Team Counter and the Krush Groove Defense. Frank Beard will be disqualified on a facial hair technicality.
  2. A Zip Drive built into the fly of a pair of corduroy pants may be both genius and madness.
  3. As Global Warming really begins to steam us up, the kilt will become more popular than ever.
  4. Due to the inevitable confusion over the Dunning-Kruger Effect and those who experience it, it will simple be known as The Stupid is as Stupid Does Phenomenom (sic).
  5. Just hours before her first scene in the porn version of Twilight, someone will find Kristin Stewart's personality behind a radiator at the Chateau Marmont simultaneously ending her porn career and reinvigorating her film career.
  6. There won't ever again be a reason to have toe hair, but it won't evolve away. Might as well grow it long, braid it, why not put something pretty in it.

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