1. I want to live a life such that when I die they bronze my guardian angel's wings and retire his halo.
2. To be Kosher, the meat must come from something that chews cud AND has a cloven hoof. Soooooooo, an evil vegetarian is Kosher? Sweeeeeeeet.
2a. What's the difference between an Evil Vegetarian and a Vegetarian Evil? One is a scrawny cloven hoofed malcontent; the other is a scourge of meatlessness.
3. When the inevitable nude photos of me are leaked, you all will be clamoring for legal restitution and not me.
5. I would very much like to win the lottery, quit work, and make art. Necessarily all of them, but not necessarily in that order.