Whilst taking the kid for a cheap fast lunch at the local
supermarket (you know the scary one with the terrible lighting but is super
convenient, on the right side of the street, and is cheap?), I witnessed
perhaps the coolest thing to happen in Woodstock. Maybe there is a secret underground,
underbelly, undercurrent that I am simply unaware of, but I think this was
special.
An absolutely knock-down, drag-out, stone-cold, gorgeous
woman dressed to kill in a retro little black dress, real stockings with the
line up the back, teetering on the highest of heels, with a big red flower in
her hair is strutting through the store. With her is a tall, broad, shaved
bald, obviously tattooed, and mildly imposing gentlemen. I can't figure out
whether he is her boyfriend, client, or "handler."
The two of them make their way with a cart toward the back
of the store where the bakery is. Jubilee and I make our way through the market
in no particular hurry or any discernable pattern, often hitting the same aisle
3 times. I see them talking to various store employees until I notice that the
cart begins to fill with, what appears to be day old cakes and cream pies. Once
that is full (!) they get another cart and fill it with store brand milk and
package flats of instant pudding - all flavors.
Jubilee, as charming to one as to all, is wowed by the cart
full of deserts and the pretty lady gives her a smile. Jubilee runs off to rant
about how we need supplied for some imaginary surprise party. By the time we
get to the checkout line, the strange couple is behind us. They have added lawn
sized garbage bags to their two carts of cakes, pies, and pudding fixins.
It
occurs to me that I have seen something about this before. These two aren't
heading for any ordinary party; they are heading to a
WAM (Wet and Messy) or
Splosh party.
