Not Every Day is a Gem

1. I inadvertently changed the dial on my electric razor from Sensitive to Sexy.
2. If I could star in my own cop show I'd call it Manhammer.
3. I'm not sure why Roger gets the credit, but you're all getting a good Rogering for your birthdays.
4. The fastest way to a man's heart is a railroad spike.
5. Wearing a costume doesn't make you mysterious, it makes you awesome.
6. You can leave your shoes on, but the hat has to go.