4/15 - 6 impossible things I believed before breakfast

1. There is an alternate universe where the preferred and polite way to answer the phone is "Ahoy-hoy".
2. My little corner of Heaven, when I get there, looks a little like Hell to some souls.
3. With the Snidely Whiplash mustache's inevitable return to fashion, the ability to detect and detain domestic terrorists is infinitely easier.
4. Mustache Twirling will appear as an exposition sport in the 2014 Winter Olympics. The mixed pair from the Republic of Armenia will dazzle and captivate the world with their floor routine.
5. As he gets older, Kale replaces Spinach in Popeye's diet.
6. The revolution will not be televised; it will be streamed live on the internet.