Monkey and Pirates, Cockfights and Pimps.

1. Don't  monkey with your past, it can be changed.
2. The only thing worse than shingles, is the fever for the flavor of a Pringles.
3. Under the eyepatch of a pirate lies mystery, under the eyepatch of the modern man is something weepy.
4. Men will always look to war as a solution to national questions, and in those cases leave the common man out of it. I propose World Leader Cockfights! Strip them to the waist, bind their arms, fit them with gaffs and let them settle it in their own blood. This could lead to electing beefy and athletic leaders, but it's be totally worth it.
5. The anthemic song about my hip-hop exploits will inevitable be titled "Microscopic Pimpin".
6. On the planet where language is chemical and manifests as smells, "Hello" will smell like a fart but ironically the word for "excrement" will smell like carrot cake.