In the future things will be worse, skinnier, curvier, more intelligent, and en flambé.

1. When I say "dummy", in my head I hear Redd Foxx.
2. In a post-singularity world, porn will be worse but instantly accessible.
3. After I lose this weight, people will stop whispering "Oh, well I hope he's rich, funny, or has a giant wiener."
4. The male preference for an 11 will soon return to preferring a woman who's an 8.
5. In the world inhabited by sentient dogs, a smile will serve as a challenge. Unless there is a duck in its maw, then it's a dinner invitation.
6. The battle over the final million barrels of oil will be brutal and will end in the destruction of at least half of it to collateral damage.